One of the often-overlooked benefits of traveling (and even layovers) is that you get the chance to get completely unplugged from your normal life and the demands that come with it. Even with WiFi and 4G access in nearly every airport terminal these days, there is something nice about being “off the grid” while traveling, which allows me to focus on the task at hand in ways I seem to fail miserably at in my day-to-day life. I want to take this opportunity to talk about the word permission, and how it can kill your dreams as an entrepreneur and strategic risk-taker on the path to fulfilling your life mission.
The Well-Paved Road = Pleasing Others and Mediocre Results
We’re taught and socialized from a young age to follow the rules, please our parents, get good grades, make the varsity sports team as that’s the best way to get accolades and approval from those around us. Have I been guilty of permission-seeking in my life? FUCK YES AND IT SUCKED. While this short-term pleaser mentality has allowed me to remain “comfortable” in living up to the expectations of others, it nearly always leaves me with a gaping hole in my inner self. When I look back at some of the best, most memorable and growth-inducing experiences of my life, they’ve usually involved decisions that I’ve made for MYSELF, and actively saying “fuck it” to asking permission from others if it was “okay” to pursue my dreams and big, exciting goals.
Some of the things I pursued and made happen in spite of the advice of others:
- Took up fitness and bodybuilding – Gained 35 lbs of muscle by ignoring people that said I couldn’t fight genetics
- Forgoing Law School to pick up and move to South America for 4+ years of travel and entrepreneurship
- DECIDING I was going to attend a top-tier MBA program on scholarship, despite the odds and what well-meaning family members thought was possible
- Paying off ALL of my student loan debt in under a year by eschewing traditional consumerism and adopting minimalism, all while maintaining a full, rewarding personal life
There is never a PERFECT time to make a change in your life – to go after what makes you truly come alive.
Sure, you don’t need to be impulsive, and developing a strategic plan to get from feeling trapped by obligations to living a life of freedom and adventure is something I wholeheartedly recommend, as it’s worked great for me. The trick is to listen more to the voice that comes from within, as opposed to the hundreds of voices, opinions and talking heads that surround us. Taking time off from media (including the internet) and meditation definitely helps with getting more in tune with this inner guidance, and you will get better with cultivating it.
The more you learn to listen to this inner guidance and act on it, you will gain more and more reference points of success and fulfillment that came about as a result of ignoring the naysayers (permission granters) and consciously giving more attention to what makes YOU come alive. Remember, this will probably be different and nuanced for everyone. That’s why I recommend you stop trying to ask for permission or to get people “on board” with your big desires. Even the most well-intentioned friends and family members simply cannot make this decision for you, because they are not you.
What big, exciting goal makes you come alive, and even a little scared, just thinking about it?
Even if you’ve been scared to admit it to those around you or even yourself, I’d be honored if you shared what you truly want to create in your life with me.
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So I was jogging two Mondays ago in the park wearing my new Asics Gel Nimbus running shoes when I got a call from a friend of mine was lamenting the fact that they applied for a loan and was turned down because their credit rating was poor. So I listened and when it was my turn to speak I gave them the following advice.
Your credit rating can be not what it should be for various reasons including submitting incorrect information, failing to pay credit card debt or utility bills on time due to redundancy or illness, and not having borrowed money before. Yes strangely enough if you do not borrow you will not have any credit rating.
Don’t submit any incorrect information about yourself. Check your credit rating info regularly. You will likely have to pay about £2 to one of the main credit reporting agencies to get a report. You will get a chance to take a look at your credit file which is usually held by Experian or Equifax. Both of these credit reference agencies are the largest in the UK.
Check to see if you are on the electoral register list which is used by king 4d.
Try to pay all your bills on time and make sure that your family does the same. Any negative report about your family members can affect the lending decision when you are applying for credit.
Don’t send a series of the application once your application is turned down. Everything will appear on your file and it will look like you are kind of desperate for money or you are trying to do something illegal.
If you are not related to your family anymore, request your agency to make separate files.
Ah at last Autumn is here. Not that it has been a bad summer I suppose, what with the Olympics and all, but I do think that on the whole, I prefer autumn. For one thing in Britain, we are actually more likely to see the sun in the Autumn. Not that I’m particularly bothered about seeing the sun in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t mind a bit of sun, I just think that we bang on about it too much. Yes, it’s all very nice when it’s shinning, as long as it doesn’t get stifling that is, in which case it’s a bloody arse ache. What I really dislike though is not the sun itself, but the way in which the British go on and on about how they are going to get some of it.
Yes everyone just loves to blather on about how they hate it in blighty because it’s so cold and miserable all the time and how they are going to chuck it all in and get on a plane to somewhere more sunny, where they can sit on a beach all day, drinking beer and waving their premium credit card about like a wand. And then what? What precisely are you all going to do when you leave the beach? My experience with hot sunny beaches in hot sunny climes is that there is bugger all else to do in these places but sit on the beach. Perth in Western Australian, for instance, has got a lot of suns and a lot of beaches, but precious little else that would encourage any civilized person to stay there for any length of time. The locals are so pleased with the fact that they have so much sun and so many beaches, that they seem completely unconcerned that their city has nothing else to offer but an extremely large shopping center. I didn’t really like Perth.
No London may be cold and wet sometimes, although never as cold and wet as the British like to think it is, but it has so much else and it is those things that make life worth living. So let’s appreciate what we have got and stop worrying about things, like the sun, that we don’t have.
I have had a huge awakening in my life recently, and it seems like I see everything in a completely different way, but when I try and share my thoughts, feelings, and concerns with people they are either totally disinterested or they think that I am a nuisance for being different from the rest of them.
I am talking about the huge disregard for all forms of life that goes on each day on this planet, by man.
I have recently become a vegan, after seeing a number of documentaries and films on the subject of animal cruelty, and it has made me completely change my ways, instantly. Now I was always a meat-eater, and my wife has been a vegetarian since I met her, but when we began to look into the cruelty that is involved in meat and dairy production, we both became vegans immediately.
Now I don’t expect everybody else to change their ways just because I have, but I would expect people to be respectful of my decisions; especially those that are supposed to care about me.
It has since occurred to me that meat-eating seems to be a macho thing for men, and it is a very alpha male thing to make fun of anybody who doesn’t eat a big steak! What is an alpha male? Well, it is a male who is trying to establish himself as the leader among others. This usually involves proving his superior strength and physical prowess. Now for some reason, everyone is under the impression that eating the most amount of meat possible and being involved in animal cruelty is a macho thing to do and they seem to be proud of themselves for doing so. I think it is pathetic, and want absolutely nothing to do with it. I would prefer to show what a good person I am by causing the least amount of harm to others, but hey, I must be the crazy one right?
Why people never listen, why they never meet your expectations and never keep their promise. I am really starting to lose it guys, I am telling you. Currently, I am organizing an origami workshop for kids and for the past week I have been banging my head to come up with an original idea, which will keep all kids entertained and make them happy. Yes, you can say that I am pretty devoted to the cause, but there is one slight problem. It appears to me that no one else is. I cannot do everything myself and I actually depend on several people, people who definitely care less than me. Some of them are alright, but others are like… yeah, whatever I cannot be bothered. And as I have a small budget, I have to sacrifice a lot. I do things in my spare time, I had to go to several shops and buy origami paper, paper wire, tin packaging, pencils, scissors, and whatnot. I do things that have nothing to do with my current position in the company, and so on. I guess that the whole problem comes from the fact that I care too much. I simply want everything to be perfect so each and every youngster can remember this day with a smile. Anyhow, the worst thing is that some people are having a pretty hard time following orders and remembering things. I have to repeat the same thing many times until everyone gets what they have to do. Oh my, I just hope that everything ends well. I will write to you in one week’s time to let you know how it went.
It can be a very difficult thing, to try and work out the best way of how to get your ex-boyfriend back. It really does depend on the individual situation, and in particular, whether you finished it with him or visa Versa, whether there was any cheating involved, and how things were left between you. One thing is for sure though, it is never a good idea to play games and mess around if you are serious about getting him back. I learned this the hard way…
Instead of sitting about feeling sorry for yourself, whilst flipping through kitchen catalogs looking at toasters and microwaves, why not read on…. and brush up on your relationship skills.
If you were to blame for the breakup, then you should expect to do some groveling in order to make him realize how sorry you are and to make him feel like he wants you back. If it was mainly his fault, then you need to let him know that you have found a way to forgive him, and you can move on. One thing is for sure, the time you have spent apart from each other will make it easier for you both to re-assess your relationship. If you both feel the same way about each other then things should work out.
Make sure that you don’t leave things up to chance. Whatever the situation, you need to take control and make the first move. Waiting for him to do so could be a bad idea, as you are giving him control. If he knows that you want him back then he may just wait and wait, whilst he enjoys being single for a while. This is not fair on you, and you shouldn’t let it happen. If you want to get your ex back then you should instigate the process and talk to him. Straightforward and honest is the only way to go with this. You know you better than anyone how to get your to ex back as you know what makes him tick but don’t wait around for too long whatever you decide to do, as his mind may start to wander elsewhere like us.
Envy, it’s not an uncommon emotion to have. I’m sure you’ve felt it at one point this month. Come on you’re not a saint. I’m honest enough to admit I feel it most days. It can overcome me in a variety of ways. I might be watching TV and see some talentless nonentity presenting a program or being handed an undeserved award. What goes through my mind after relentlessly mocking them is imagining myself in the same position and knowing I could do an infinitely better job of it. I might be browsing a newspaper website’s opinion page and notice how poor some of the supposed ‘polemics’ are being argued. I make clear my strong opinions on the matter via the comments section underneath, albeit using a pseudonym.
What really gets my goat though is what takes place at my workplace. I’ve been in my job for nearly four years now and unfortunately, I got in at the wrong time, just as the financial crisis hit. The person I was replacing had been on a certain salary, which I was fully qualified for, but my employers (for what I can only assume were budgetary reasons) altered the job title and cut £5,000 off the annual wage. I had hoped this was only a temporary measure but several years on and another staff member gone and I’m still in the same boat. There’s only six of us in our department but I’m on an hourly pay rate similar to the youngest staff member. My dentist continually asks how my molars are so worn away, I lie to him but the real reason is that they’re grinding and gnashing away as I look on in envy at some of my colleagues. On a wage that I should be on they go about their daily work in a manner, I would sum up as SLACKING!!!
Lazy people who just arse around the office for more money then most of us, just really get my goat! What makes them so special?
Always on them, as they fail to pass on important details to customers, e.g. regulations we expect clients to abide by. Then there’s the way they put to personal use printer paper meant solely for customers, their ease when it comes to customer service, etc. I could go on and on. I know they’re aware of my low opinion of them, which explains their hesitant interaction with me…OK basically non-existent interaction with me. I don’t care, I’m patient. I’ll outlast the lot of them all and get a wage at this company that matches up to my skills and my opinion of myself, which is quite substantial I have to say.